Wife: "Where are you? Why aren’t you home yet?"
Husband: "Love, do you remember the jewellery shop on regent street where you saw a diamond necklace and fell in love with it and I couldn't afford it then, but I said 'I will get it one day for you'?"
Wife: "Yes I do, I do!"
Husband: "I am in the pub just next door to that."
Every man needs a beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
A million dollars minus 75 cents.
Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months?
The box said 2-4 years!
Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'.